Worstward Ho Read online

  WORS1WARD HO

  WORS1WARD HO

  by

  Samuel Beckett

  Grove Press, Inc. I New York

  Copyright C> 1983 by Samuel Beckett

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieve!

  system, or transmitted in any form, by any means, electronic,

  mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without

  the prior written permission of the publisher.

  First Edition 1983

  ISBN: 0-394-53230-9

  library of Congress Catalog Card Number 82-94626

  Ubrary of Conpoess Catalocfnc in Publication Data

  Beckett, Samuel, 1906-

  Worstward Ho.

  I. Title

  PR6003. E282C65 1980 822.912 80-995

  ISBN 0-394-53230-9

  Manufactured in the United States of America

  GROVE PRESS INC., 196 West Houston Street,

  New York, N.Y . 10014

  WORS1WARD HO

  HO

  On. Say on. Be said on. Somehow

  on. Till nohow on. Said nohow on.

  Say for be said. Missaid. From now

  say for be missaid.

  Say a body. Where none. No mind.

  Where none. That at least. A place.

  Where none. For the body. To be in.

  Move in. Out of. Back into. No. No out.

  No back. Only in. Stay in. On in. Still.

  All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever

  tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again.

  Fail again. Fail better.

  First the body. No. First the place.

  SAMUEL BECKETI'

  No. First both. Now either. Now the

  other. Sick of the either try the other.

  Sick of it back sick of the either. So on.

  Somehow on. Till sick of both. Throw

  up and go. Where neither. Till sick of

  there. Throw up and back. The body

  again. Where none. The place again.

  Where none. Try again. Fail again. Better again. Or better worse. Fail worse again. Still worse again. Till sick for

  good. Throw up for good. Go for good.

  Where neither for good. Good and all.

  It stands. What? Yes. Say it stands.

  Had to up in the end and stand. Say

  bones. No bones but say bones. Say

  ground. No ground but say ground. So

  as to say pain. No mind and pain? Say yes

  that the bones may pain till no choice

  but stand. Somehow up and stand. Or

  WORSTWARD HO

  better worse remains. Say remains of

  mind where none to permit of pain.

  Pain of bones till no choice but up and

  stand. Somehow up. Somehow stand.

  Remains of mind where none for the

  sake of pain. Here of bones. Other

  examples if needs must. Of pain. Relief

  from. Change of.

  All of old. Nothing else ever. But

  never so failed. Worse failed. With care

  never worse failed.

  Dim light source unknown. Know

  minimum. Know nothing no. Too much

  to hope. At most mere minimum. Meremost minimum.

  SAMUEL BECKE'IT

  No choice but stand. Somehow

  up and stand. Somehow stand. That or

  groan. The groan so long on its way. No.

  No groan. Simply pain. Simply up. A

  time when try how. Try see. Try say.

  How first it lay. Then somehow knelt.

  Bit by bit. Then on from there. Bit by bit.

  Till up at last. Not now. Fail better

  worse now.

  Another. Say another. Head sunk

  on crippled hands. Vertex vertical. Eyes

  clenched. Seat of all. Germ of all.

  No future in this. Alas yes.

  It stands. See in the dim void how

  at last it stands. In the dim light source

  11

  HO

  unknown. Before the downcast eyes.

  Clenched eyes. Staring eyes. Clenched

  staring eyes.

  That shade. Once lying. Now

  standing. That a body? Yes. Say that a

  body. Somehow standing. In the dim

  void.

  A place. Where none. A time

  when try see. Try say. How small. How

  vast. How if not boundless bounded.

  Whence the dim. Not now. Know better now. Unknow better now. Know only no out of. No knowing how know

  only no out of. Into only. Hence

  another. Another place where none.

  Whither once whence no return. No.

  No place but the one. None but the one

  SAMUEL BECKE'IT

  where none. Whence never once in.

  Somehow in. Beyondless. Thenceless

  there. Thitherless there. Thenceless

  thitherless there.

  Where then but there see -

  See for be seen. Misseen. From

  now see for be misseen.

  Where then but there see now -

  First back turned the shade

  astand. In the dim void see first back

  turned the shade astand. Still.

  WORSTWARD HO

  Where then but there see now

  another. Bit by bit an old man and child.

  In the dim void bit by bit an old man and

  child. Any other would do as ill.

  Hand in hand with equal plod

  they go. In the free hands - no. Free

  empty hands. Backs turned both bowed

  with equal plod they go. The child hand

  raised to reach the holding hand. Hold

  the old holding hand. Hold and be held.

  Plod on and never recede. Slowly with

  never a pause plod on and never recede.

  Backs turned. Both bowed. Joined by

  held holding hands. Plod on as one. One

  shade. Another shade.

  Head sunk on crippled hands.

  Clenched staring eyes. At in the dim

  SAMUEL BECKETI'

  void shades. One astand at rest. One old

  man and child. At rest plodding on. Any

  others would do as ill. Almost any.

  Almost as ill.

  They fade. Now the one. Now the

  twain. Now both. Fade back. Now the

  one. Now the twain. Now both. Fade?

  No. Sudden go. Sudden back. Now the

  one. Now the twain. Now both.

  Un c h a n g e d ? S u d d e n b a ck

  unchanged? Yes. Say yes. Each time

  unchanged. Somehow unchanged. Till

  no. Till say no. Sudden back changed.

  Somehow changed. Each time somehow changed.

  The dim. The void. Gone too?

  Back too? No. Say no. Never gone. Never

  back. Till yes. Till say yes. Gone too.

  Back too. The dim. The void. Now the

  one. Now the other. Now both. Sudden

  gone. Sudden back. Unchanged? Sudden back unchanged? Yes. Say yes. Each time unchanged. Somehow unchanged.

  Till no. Till say no. Sudden back

  changed. Somehow changed. Each time

  somehow changed.

  First sudden gone the one. First

  sudden back. Unchanged. Say now

  unchanged. So far unchanged. Back

  turned. Head sunk. Vertex vertical in

  hat. Cocked back of black brim alone.

  Back of black greatcoat cut off midthigh. Kneeling. Better kneeling. Better worse kneeling. Say now kn
eeling.

  16_�--­

  SAMUEL BECKE'IT

  From now kneeling. Could rise but to

  its knees. Sudden gone sudden back

  unchanged back turned head sunk dark

  shade on unseen knees. Still.

  Next sudden gone the twain.

  Next sudden back. Unchanged. Say now

  unchanged. So far unchanged. Backs

  turned. Heads sunk. Dim hair. Dim

  white and hair so fair that in that dim

  light dim white. Black greatcoats to

  heels. Dim black. Bootheels. Now the

  two right. Now the two left. As on with

  equal plod they go. No ground. Plod as

  on void. Dim hands. Dim white. Two

  free and two as one. So sudden gone

  sudden back unchanged as one dark

  shade plod unreceding on.

  The dim. Far and wide the same.

  High and low. Unchanging. Say now

  unchanging. Whence no knowing. No

  saying. Say only such dim light as never.

  On all. Say a grot in that void. A gulf.

  Then in that grot or gulf such dimmest

  light as never. Whence no knowing. No

  saying.

  The void. Unchanging. Say now

  unchanging. Void were not the one.

  The twain. So far were not the one and

  twain. So far.

  The void. How try say? How try

  fail? No try no fail. Say only-

  First the bones. On back to them.

  SAMUEL BECKE1T

  Preying since first said on foresaid

  remains. The ground. The pain. No

  bones. No ground. No pain. Why up

  unknown. At all costs unknown. If ever

  down. No choice but up if ever down.

  Or never down. Forever kneeling. Better forever kneeling. Better worse forever kneeling. Say from now forever

  kneeling. So far from now forever kneeling. So far.

  The void. Before the staring eyes.

  Stare where they may. Far and wide.

  High and low. That narrow field. Know

  no more. See no more. Say no more.

  That alone. That little much of void

  alone.

  On back to unsay void can go.

  Void cannot go. Save dim go. Then all

  go. All not already gone. Till dim back.

  Then all back. All not still gone. The one

  can go. The twain can go. Dim can go.

  Void cannot go. Save dim go. Then all

  go.

  On back better worse to fail the

  head said seat of all. Germ of all. All? If of

  all of it too. Where if not there it too?

  There in the sunken head the sunken

  head. The hands. The eyes. Shade with

  the other shades. In the same dim. The

  same narrow void. Before the staring

  eyes. Where it too if not there too? Ask

  not. No. Ask in vain. Better worse so.

  The head. Ask not if it can go. Say

  no. Unasking no. It cannot go. Save dim

  SAMUEL BECKE'IT

  go. Then all go. Oh dim go. Go for good.

  All for good. Good and all.

  Whose words? Ask in vain. Or not

  in vain if say no knowing. No saying. No

  words for him whose words. Him? One.

  No words for one whose words. One?

  It. No words for it whose words. Better

  worse so.

  Something not wrong with one.

  Meaning - meaning! - meaning the

  kneeling one. From now one for the

  kneeling one. As from now two for the

  twain. The as one plodding twain. As

  from now three for the head. The head

  as first said missaid. So from now. For to

  gain time. Time to lose. Gain time to

  lose. As the soul once. The world once.

  HO

  Something not wrong with one.

  Then with two. Then with three. So on.

  Something not wrong with all. Far from

  wrong. Far far from wrong.

  The words too whosesoever.

  What room for worse! How almost true

  they sometimes almost ring! How wanting in inanity! Say the night is young alas and take heart. Or better worse say still

  a watch of night alas to come. A rest of

  last watch to come. And take heart.

  First one. First try fail better one.

  Something there badly not wrong. Not

  that as it is it is not bad. The no face bad.

  The no hands bad. The no - . Enough. A

  pox on bad. Mere bad. Way for worse.

  Pending worse still. First worse. Mere

  SAMUEL BECKEtT

  worse. Pending worse still. Add a -.

  Add? Never. Bow it down. Be it bowed

  down. Deep down. Head in hat gone.

  More back gone. Greatcoat cut off

  higher. Nothing from pelvis down.

  Nothing but bowed back. Topless baseless hindtrunk. Dim black. On unseen knees. In the dim void. Better worse so.

  Pending worse still.

  Next try fail better two. The

  twain. Bad as it is as it is. Bad the no -

  First back on to three. Not yet to

  try worsen. Simply be there again.

  There in that head in that head. Be it

  again. That head in that head. Clenched

  eyes clamped to it alone. Alone? No.

  Too. To it too. The sunken skull. The

  23

  WORS1WARD HO

  crippled hands. Clenched staring eyes.

  Clenched eyes clamped to clenched

  staring eyes. Be that shade again. In that

  shade again. With the other shades.

  Worsening shades. In the dim void.

  Next-

  First how all at once. In that stare.

  The worsened one. The worsening two.

  And what yet to worsen. To try worsen.

  Itself. The dim. The void. All at once in

  that stare. Clenched eyes clamped to

  all.

  Next two. From bad to worsen.

  Try worsen. From merely bad. Add -.

  Add? Never. The boots. Better worse

  SAMUEL BECKEtT

  bootless. Bare heels. Now the two right.

  Now the two left. Left right left right on.

  Barefoot unreceding on. Better worse

  so. A little better worse than nothing so.

  Next the so-said seat and germ of

  all. Those hands! That head! That near

  true ring! Away. Full face from now. No

  hands. No face. Skull and stare alone.

  Scene and seer of all.

  On. Stare on. Say on. Be on. Somehow on. Anyhow on. Till dim gone. At long last gone. All at long last gone. For

  bad and all. For poor best worse and all.

  Dim whence unknown. At all

  costs unknown. Unchanging. Say now

  2S

  HO

  unchanging. Far and wide. High and

  low. Say a pipe in that void. A tube.

  Sealed. Then in that pipe or tube that

  selfsame dim. Old dim. When ever what

  else? Where all always to be seen. Of the

  nothing to be seen. Dimly seen.

  Nothing ever unseen. Of the nothing to

  be seen. Dimly seen. Worsen that?

  Next the so-said void. The somissaid. That narrow field. Rife with shades. Well so-missaid. Shade-ridden

  void. How better worse so-missay?

  Add others. Add? Never. Till if

  needs must. Nothing to those so far.

  Dimly so far. Them only lessen. But with

  them as they lessen others. As they

  worsen. If needs mu
st. Others to lessen.

  SAMUEL BECKE1T

  To worsen. Till dim go. At long last go.

  For worst and all.

  On. Somehow on. Anyhow on. Say

  all gone. So on. In the skull all gone. All?

  No. All cannot go. Till dim go. Say then

  but the two gone. In the skull one and

  two gone. From the void. From the

  stare. In the skull all save the skull gone.

  The stare. Alone in the dim void. Alone

  to be seen. Dimly seen. In the skull the

  skull alone to be seen. The staring eyes.

  Dimly seen. By the staring eyes. The

  others gone. Long sudden gone. Then

  sudden back. Unchanged. Say now

  unchanged. First one. Then two. Or first

  two. Then one. Or together. Then all

  again together. The bowed back. The

  plodding twain. The skull. The stare. All

  back in the skull together. Unchanged.

  1.7

  HO

  Stare clamped to all. In the dim void.

  The eyes. Time to -

  First on back to unsay dim can go.

  Somehow on back. Dim cannot go. Dim

  to go must go for good. True then dim

  can go. If but for good. One can go not

  for good. Two too. Three no if not for

  good. With dim gone for good. Void no

  if not for good. With all gone for good.

  Dim can worsen. Somehow worsen. Go

  no. If not for good.

  The eyes. Time to try worsen.

  Somehow try worsen. Unclench. Say

  staring open. All white and pupil. Dim

  white. White? No. All pupil. Dim black

  SAMUEL BECKE'IT

  holes. Unwavering gaping. Be they so

  said. With worsening words. From now

  so. Better than nothing so bettered for

  the worse.

  Still dim still on. So long as still

  dim still somehow on. Anyhow on.

  With worsening words. Worsening

  stare. For the nothing to be seen. At the

  nothing to be seen. Dimly seen. As now

  by way of somehow on where in the

  nowhere all together? All three

  together. Where there all three as last

  worse seen? Bowed back alone. Barefoot plodding twain. Skull and lidless stare. Where in the narrow vast? Say

  only vasts apart. In that narrow void

  vasts of void apart. Worse better later.

  What when words gone? None for

  what then. But say by way of somehow

  on somehow with sight to do. With less